To My Future Husband

For the whole month of February, I will be posting a letter of gratitude to the people who have contributed immensely to the woman I am today. Some letters I’m thinking of sending to those I’ve written about and some I hope are never read. This will be the first time I post daily. So I am really keen on seeing how it will turn out, both for me and for those who follow this blog. I look forward to your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below. The theme for all the letters is that ‘We Are Stories’ and I will be telling mine in #29LettersOfGratitude for a whole month. If you would like to join me (PLEASE DO!!!) remember to link me in your posts.

‘You will fight me with your strength. You will fight me with your words. You will also fight me with your love but nothing will ever win. Then finally you’ll fight to get away and I promise to make this one easy, it’s the least I can do. You won’t recognize yourself at the end of it all, but I will not take the blame because I’ve never asked to be found by your prying love. It’s always overwhelmed me with its ridiculous abundance anyway, always making me uncomfortable with its ever unending forgiveness. I don’t hate you for limping away; but you could have run while you still had the full use of all your limbs. Our love has lost the race; better is happily awaiting you…’

Thank you for never finding me on this winter morning, I still cringe at all the things my insecurities wrote you in this first letter.

It hasn’t even been two whole years but I look at the words of the broken woman I once was and it makes me penitent. I couldn’t help but hug myself celebrating how far I’ve come without you.

Thank you for not finding me when I hit rock bottom. It made me find my own strength to rebuild everything I destroyed.

Thank you for not being my high school sweet heart, alone assured that I always respected my quiet thoughts and discerned my deepest convictions.

Thank you for not being here to answer the questions of my curious mind, it gave me a chance to know His voice first before I obeyed yours.

Thank you resembling a few frogs I’ve kissed along the way … Wait … What am I saying? No, I’m pretty mad at you for this one.

‘You will think I have been trusting your words all this time, using them to build us a glorious future. You don’t know but I never believed you, not even at the beginning. You will think we were both working towards the same place, not knowing mine ends with helping you pack with all your unmet expectations. You will find the games fun at first, then you’ll be confused because soon it will be clear that nobody ever wins between us, only the vicious monster I am feeding in the inside of me. And then exhaustion will kick in, but you will stay because you are weak and we will dance around the inevitable, extra time not changing a thing about our ending…’

Cover Photo By: Lutendo Malatji

Have you ever written your future spouse a letter? Why did you write them? Can you share a line or two?

23 thoughts on “To My Future Husband

  1. Hahahaha..
    “Thank you for resembling a few frogs I’ve kissed along the way… Wait… What I am I saying? No am pretty mad at you for this one. ”

    That’s gold….
    Thank you for writing this, I shall have the absolute pleasure of forwarding it to him when the time comes 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you resembling a few frogs I’ve kissed along the way … Wait … What am I saying? No, I’m pretty mad at you for this one.

    hahaha how can we not forgive you, you obviously punished yourself enough.



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