15 Fun Facts About Menstruation

  • It doesn’t matter even if it’s like 3am in the morning, you’ll always feel it, when the mensies have come around for a visit. You will be awoken out of your beauty sleep, with an unusual but familiar (bloody) knock in the pit of your uterus.

  • Your normal is actually a mini blood festival that happens for about 7 days inside your panties (think more like: a messy color run).

  • Even though you’ve never had sex in your whole entire life, you discover your inner whore body doesn’t care and still aches for some action.

  • You’ve never been burnt with a hot iron rod but somehow that is the only way, you can think of describing the sharp pain you feel when you’re on your periods. I mean your private(st) part should NEVER feel like it’s on fire fam, that’s just not right!

  • Emphasis: Period pains are not a joke hey, it literally feels like surviving an unnecessary death every single month.

  • It isn’t a very consistent ‘time of the month’ kind of situation as everyone will have you believe, the festival occasionally changes the schedule depending on your stress levels that month.

  • You can never confidently wear a white skirt or any clothes that are worn on your bottom half actually because the calendar fever does not have any manners.

  • The mensies have absolutely no respect for your clean linen as well.

  • You cry over every little damn thing that exists in this world. It’s ridiculous, you suddenly become this weakling who sees the need to weep because normal life moments suddenly become misdiagnosed as hopelessly heartbreaking and sad.

  • Then there’s being easily irritable and annoyed, you might from time to time have to snap at at-least one (almost always deserving) human being during your special time of the month, just to iron out those hormonal knots.

  • Then of course we have the migraines, the weird cravings, the loss of appetite, the hankering thirst, and the intolerance you’ll have with stupid people… oh wait we don’t have to be on our period to experience the last one.

  • And by the way, have I mentioned how it takes years to finally choose a brand that suits your flow? Basically for the longest time ever, it’s other people with their personal preferences who buy your pads for you.

  • Sadly being on your mensies also means you can have babies BUT obviously it doesn’t necessarily mean you should submit to the maternal calling.

  • I got mine while playing dolls with my siblings at about 11, I reported the unusual happenings in my underwear to my young mother. She gave me a pack of pads and said I mustn’t tell my younger sisters about it. I know for a fact that this kind of awkward exchange between mothers and daughters still exists.

  • My aunt begged my mother to put me on contraceptives when she found out I joined the grown ups with the mighty leak (I did mention I was 11 right?) Thank goodness my mom refused this advice… Teenage pregnancy is a real and critical issue in our society that some parents might unfortunately feel should be solved with enforcing the contraception doctrine on their children even before they discover sex for themselves.

    Getting my period has become an accepted part of my life, and even though it shows up every month without fail, not a cycle goes by that I don’t almost always wish it away. It is a big inconvenience that can make me really moody and cranky but month after month, I put on my big girl panties and accept it as an unpleasant part of my womanhood. Some days I am not so grim about it and choose to embrace it as a sign of life that I carry within me. So instead of resenting my flow, in this post I acknowledge its power and find a fun, light-hearted side to the whole experience.


    Cover Photo By: Lutendo Malatji 

 

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28 thoughts on “15 Fun Facts About Menstruation

  1. With this experience then its indeed a great favour to put a woman out of this pains for nine months…….(joking), we can never understand what you guys go through, but can only pray for the women of this world…… God bless you guys

    Like

  2. Ati “don’t play with boys” 😂😂😂😂 I can’t deal.

    I was watching a TED talk just the other day about this Indian lady who came up with a “taboo free way to talk about periods” it was very insightful.

    In India, people don’t generally talk about periods, in fact in some places of worship, women in their periods are not allowed…. Now for me, those 4 days in the month are my worst days. Those days are filled with so much discomfort. So it was so heartbreaking to hear that there are girls out there who don’t know about periods and when they do get into their periods, they are treated differently from the rest…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What an intrested read my friend especially for a person like me that likes reading everything and anything about woman… I love the part were you speak about how you told your mum that you got your period and she gave you pads and told you not to tell your siblings I can so relate cos since I’m the youngest in my family my older sister experienced the same thing and we only two years apart. We so close when she messed her night gown one time that’s when I found out she started her period I was very disappointed cos we close. She told me my mum told her not to tell so when I started my period I did not tell anyone cos there was no open relationship der if I do have a daughter one day I would defently want her to be open and if it means her telling her younger sister/sisters so be it.

    Thanks for this so informative you have a bright future ahead you chief editor of some big magazine name in the world yep I said it love you friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. First and foremost I love the way you switched from second person to first person point of view in the blog, rarely writers do that and I love that.
    Secondly and probably the last, I can’t relate to this, though can I imagine the whole experience all through this piece.
    Well done

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mensies. Those ones.
    I’m still waiting for mine, but through transitivity, have been through them in a way or the other.

    ‘Don’t play with boys’
    I don’t know if they meant don’t play dolls or house or stuff like that, as a statement.
    Or if they meant ‘don’t joke with boys’, boys are like a nuclear war head or a hand grenade.
    As a stern warning.

    Liked by 1 person

    • hahaha @ I am still waiting for mine 🙂 they are coming my friend ❤

      Your whole comment just had me in stitches though. Well of course there are too many instructions about mensies that we get hey. It's crazy really.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Peter

      Thanks so much for stopping by. Well I have only been me and this was written based on my experiences and those of my friends, family and colleagues so I can’t really give a scientific elaborate study, it would be unfair of me. So I really think it varies, some months seem to be worse than others but honestly you are aware of the changes. My time of the month generally makes me irritable and quiet but another woman could be different.

      I am curious though, why do you ask?

      Like

  6. Loved this post, perfect after lunch read. Gosh, I hate my monthlys though and I actually wish there was a way of just permanently making them exit my life. The mood swings that come when I am PMSng are the worst! 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Makupsy 🙂

      I also wondered if there wasn’t a permanent solution to them but it seems nothing is ever guaranteed even after those measures. I’m glad you came by and can really relate to my experiences as well…

      Like

  7. This was so fun to read. When mine came, I spoiled on a bright yellow skirt I was wearing but my mum was gracious about it, spoke to me about periods…with demonstrations and repeats in great detail. Then I was told if any boy approached me, I was to tell my big brother with immediate effect lol

    Then about crying over every little thing….well, I weep uncontrollably at those tv commercials of starving and overworked donkeys! Like I just can’t believe how teary I become over something I would normally just ignore any other time of the month! Happens all the damn time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh schuks a yellow dkirt!!! That can’t have been fun for your younger self. Your mom is so cool though ❤ Great mom hey 🙂 hahaha then I crack up the big brother being used to protect you from the boys…

      I was telling my manager who reviewed this before I published it, that once I cried because a woman won a tv, I still feel incredibly stupid about it hey. But what can we do with our tear drum? It just spills for no reason.

      Oh being a woman is just something else hey.

      Like

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