My Blog Name currently is ‘Mastering the Now.’ I think it might actually stay this way forever. But I can’t really promise that, because I have been faulted as a constant evolver. This is probably because I’ll always be a sucker for growth, embracing it constantly with the warmest welcome. So if another phrase speaks itself as my truth at any given moment, then the temptation might be too great for me to withstand.
‘Mastering the Now’ is about my journey of conquering my constant fears. It’s about refusing to hold back, when all of me can be had. It’s about letting today be just today. It’s the necessary process of forgiving myself, so that I am never crippled with regret. It’s allowing the moments of my life bloom generously, without contaminating them with what I’ve been taught they should be.
‘Mastering the Now’ is trusting an invisible voice that insisted my soul was destined for more. It is the blind belief that it will all work out for good, even without any guarantees. It’s not about being any less scared but knowing that regardless of the outcome, I’ll survive.
As a Lifestyle Blogger, I’ve had to accept that this blog is basically an online journal. I’ve shared things on the World Wide Web that I sometimes struggle to express even to the people I share my life with. It’s my safe place of introspecting and reviewing who I am. It’s a practise that begins quietly but instantly switches to a very loud expression, the minute I press ‘publish.’
‘Mastering the Now’ is how I connect all those dots, how I keep sane so I am able to function and embrace yet another day. It is the celebration of my sometimes indistinguishable Baby Steps. It is the art of refusing to succumb to my insistent insecurities. It’s recognising the triggers that want to keep me motionless, determined to drown me in my own nothingness. It’s also the power of not sacrificing the only peace, that’s been able to hold me together through all the turmoil and confusion.
‘The Now’ are all my efforts, the determination to make it beyond the undeniable accusations that I might not be enough. It’s the days I fight just to stay afloat. It’s knowing which battles are worth my limited strength. It’s reconciling with the parts of myself that always fight to be a victor. And sometimes it’s being okay with not being okay ❤
Photo By: Boitumelo Mazibuko