So gone are the days when women perceived being single as a dire need for someone else to fill an imaginary void inside of their hearts. Women all around the world are taking back their power and choosing to stay single even though society still seems to shun away singleness as some kind of disease.
Many women are deliberately choosing to stay single for themselves. It isn’t out of frustration or because there aren’t any suitable bachelors pursuing after them. They are becoming accustomed to knowing what is beneficial for their own needs and opting to abstain from messy relationships that leave them feeling regretful and heart sore.
Women are also focusing their energies and time on building their careers, being dedicated to discovering their true potential and fully enjoying every moment of their time alone without any (sometimes) unnecessary distractions.
Here are 10 reasons why single is the new black…
Girl children are being brought up in a society where their minds are programmed to think that their only ability in life is being a man’s helper. It’s always being exhaustively hammered into them that all a woman requires to be considered woman enough/ dignified enough/ beautiful enough/ successful enough/ acceptable enough is by becoming somebody else’s other half.
Sadly this poisonous type of thinking makes it hard even for adult women to discern and make sense of their preferences because their minds are constantly being clogged with expectations of who they are supposed to be. So time spent single is perfect for quiet introspection, exploring your true self and becoming each and everything you have ever wanted to be in life.
2. Single-hood isn’t all that depressing
We all need and yearn for companionship at some point in our lives as women. I mean who doesn’t want to come home to someone they absolutely adore at the end of a very long day? But in the meantime women choose to treat being single as a period to embrace their wholeness even when there isn’t a lover to hold their hand or to pillow talk away, creating precious life moments. Regardless of their empty beds, women are still able to feel complete and powerful.
The mornings bring hope and instil great courage to face a new day. Women are well aware of all their capabilities and strength because night time is used for meditation and prayer, ensuring sufficient time alone with God or meditating without interruption. Women are beginning to appreciate and love their lives just the way they are, at that specific season/time because they finally understand that going after something that is not aligned to their purpose can leave unnecessary scars that bruise their self-esteem. So they fully commit themselves to spending their single days with gratefulness for all the blessings gifted to them.
4. You realize your Bad Ass Super Power!!!
There are stories we’ve been part of as women that can leave us coughing up blood and gasping for air. It’s really sad to look back sometimes and realise ‘I could have treated myself with so much more tenderness and respect but instead I chose an awful lot that wasn’t right for me.’ Reflection is a great trait to possess because it assists you to realise that everything you’ve left behind is exactly what you don’t need going forward. So use your time to enjoy being free from all the ugly that you’ve survived and celebrate every dark place God carried you out of.
5. You grow deeper roots
You would think in 2016 maybe men would know better but clearly not. They still think women should be their biggest cheerleaders even when their way of doing things is sinking the ship.
Women know better, so when she spots trouble coming a mile away, she’s either going to flap her wings and fly away from ensuing disaster or take hold of the steering wheel and sail back to shore. It’s always in those little moments when one is able to realise their own power and strength, when being selfish becomes a priority. Women who have been alone are not afraid of letting go of anything that compromises their sanity, peace and joy. They are able to discern trouble at a distance before a turbulence rocks their world upside down.
Singleness is a great for intentional sabbaticals after a bad relationship. Even though attraction starts off as romance and excitement, sadly it doesn’t always end that way. Bad relationships have a way of leaving a very bitter taste on the mouth and time alone can be great to shake off all those negative emotions and insecurities that have accumulated along the way. The power of having the abundance of choice is regained and appreciated
7. You will discover you have a voice
Not all relationships end badly, some are amicable and a mutual decision is reached peacefully. This shows maturity and that you are able to stand up and speak your mind without fear. When something isn’t good enough for you, you’re able to be heard and have your voice and opinion counted. There are still many people who view outspoken women as rebellious or disrespectful but you shouldn’t care at all about them. Find your voice and scream your lungs out actually!!!
Even the bible itself says so ‘two are better than one’ but it doesn’t ever say one on their own is cursed or their efforts are rejected. One is awesome until it is made better. So use the time given to you as a single to be a woman who lives the best of her life beautifully.
9. Strengthen relationships with loved ones
When we are in relationships our time is spent trying to manage a schedule between all those we care about. And sometimes time with family and friends may fall through the cracks when we are constantly strained to make a balance. It is during the period of singleness that one learns to rely on their people and realise who has been in their corner all along.
Nothing in life humbles us as making our own mistakes, experiencing another woman’s pain through your own testimony should make you quick to forgive and slow to judge. We put down the walls erected by our broken misunderstandings about other women and express love and understanding instead.
Originially created for College Mag
Illustration By: Nosipho Nxele